SHINee-kissu (Key and Jonghyun)

Losing my boyfriend

Hi, it's been several years since I posted. I don't have many friends (who haven't been exhausted by this subject already) or means to an outlet so here I am on my old livejournal.

Nearly two months ago my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. The reason being is me. I have a bad habit of picking fights for no reason and self sabotaging a perfectly wonderful relationship. I kept saying I was going to change. And I never did. He finally was burnt out from it. Only then I truly realized I fucked up. Only when I actually lost him. He's casually dating someone else now. I live with him (leaving at the end of the month though.) We're still physical. It's weird and complicated. He's still my best friend in the entire world.

He's been there for me when others weren't. He isn't perfect but honestly, he is everything I have ever wanted in a partner and I feel like I blew it. He wants me to work on myself and I do agree--it needs to happen. That will take time.

He says there is a possibility of getting back together. That some months down the line when I have truly spent the time to grow and heal (him too) that we could have a conversation about it. A lot of my friends disagree and think I should not entertain that idea and totally forget about him.

How can I?

There is no one else on this planet that knows me like he does. We have a deep connection. I just cannot give up on it. I'm scared to move out because I am afraid he will forget about me. Of course he says he won't. I just can't help but think negatively like I have all my life even though I know those thoughts will manifest. I need to think positively and imagine a good outcome. How do I stop this cycle of negative thinking? It's so difficult for me.

I need some positive thoughts and opinions. I am just at a loss.
Latis-by the water side

It's been awhile

Hello to any of my friends who are still active! I was feeling nostalgic today and wanted to post an entry. I miss the days of when lj was popular. I do still lurk on pkmncollectors but that's the extent of my lj experience these days.

So updates on my life? Updates.

I'm 23 now. Holy god. I was 16 when I first joined here I think? Or 17. Either way that blows my mind.

After much thought I decided to not give up on the Lati collecting. I have invested so much time and money. And even though I'm no longer holding the title of biggest Lati doesn't matter. What's important is that I love my collection. So many memories too.

I'm working full time raising and training horses. I nearly gave up the "horse world" but I'm glad I stuck around. My passion has been restored.

Another thing I haven't given up on is art. Someday I want to be an awesome webcomic artist. I have some big plans.

I suppose I could go on and on about things. But for now I'll stop. I hope all of you are well.
  • Current Mood
    nostalgic nostalgic

its been a long time!

I don't know if anyone will read this bUT HELLO!

Things are so stressful these days and money is tight. One thing I'm considering is selling my entire Lati collection save for a few items. Part of me says I'll regret it but the other part sees a gold mine. I think my collection can easily get me $2000 or so. Especially if I auction off some rare items. But then I won't be the queen of latis anymore...what if in the future I regret it. Like I regret selling all my cards. But then I think......what purpose do these things serve for me? I could use that $2000 to buy a roundtrip plane ticket to korea AND THEN SOME. what to do...


linking this to the comm, f-list ;D

-haggling is A-OK with me<3
-first come, first serve
-holding is acceptable for up to 48 hours, afterwards the item is availible to anyone
-there will be a small paypal fee~!
-shipping to ANYWHERE! YAY! :D

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How Bianca met David

So on the 25th I finally got to hang out with my bestest chinese immigrant friend-DAVID! (riolulz). We've been buddiez for nearly a year now (time sure flies!) So we have been planning this little meet up for a long time, I think something like 5 months or so. I was deathly nervous omg I thought I was gonna throw up my insides or something. Ryan
ryasaurus and Vilma (my mom) ate lunch beforehand-I couldn't I was way nervous. So we walked a few blocks to nintendo world and the minute I we approached the place I saw David running around the pokemon section. And I was "omg there he is" but not before mother pointed to some random guy saying "IS THAT HIM THERE???!!!" |D So we walked over (I was freaking the fuck out, srsly) and I don't even remember what I said...or if I said anything-or what even happened, I just remember hugging him. That was probably the best hug ever, considering I had been waiting so long to do it!

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if you read this, kudos to you! <3